control

funny thing, this control.
the baptism, the hike, everything about the small group is so great and i know that i know that things are happening because God is causing these things to happen and i would rather have God do things than me, or do i really believe that...that there is a God, there this God actually cares, actually cares about the well-being of this small group, who are you that you would care about this small group...
the funny thing is the more i give over control, the more i feel less in control (quite obvious) and the more i feel out of control and feel the need for control...AUGH!
each part of my life im finding im slowly...very slow---ly, methodically cutting out of my control and its not the most fun thing...
1st is the small group which i practice weekly and daily as i think about what to do this weekend or in the coming months
2nd is the move which i have yet to do but this is hu---ge
3rd is school which i am right now comfortable giving over to God - translation, i am not going to go full-time, at least not right now, at least not at the lutheran seminary
4th...relationships...the eternal question mark