the paradigm shift continues

so here i am a couple of weeks into finding a house church...that week i was scheduled to meet w/ my seminary prof to talk to him about my discovery; i was also set to talk w/ the pastor of that church to recommend me to the seminary...both didnt happen...why?
well, i caught the flu tuesday nite...AUGH!
yeah, what timing...
it was an interesting timing though, as i look at it.
i was all set for seminary, all set for this church, when all of a sudden im sick such that i cant physically meet both of them...and as im lying in bed im realizing that i have been caught up in this emotional high for quite some time. theres been so many things happening that it was easy for me simply to right things off as being good because i was feeling good about it. but as i lay there, not feeling good at all, i was able to reassess my situation.
is all of this what i really want?
why am i so intent on going to seminary?
the first and foremost reason was to simply learn more about God and in doing so get closer to him and then in turn teach others the things im learning. and at first, this school accomplished those things. im taking 3 classes now all of which are helping me and my walk w/ God.
however, somewhere along the way, i started to get greedy and going to seminary wasnt about the learning but about the degree and in my mind its sometimes hard to separate the two. they are interrelated however if one takes over the other, it is not in a healthy balance and thats where i found myself.
why am i so keen on this degree? am i not happy simply to take the classes that i like from the professors that i like? these are of course rhetorical questions however its so easy for me to switch over to works righteousness.
so there i was midway through my flu lying in my bed and the thought of all thoughts that brought peace to my heart came up which simply was to continue at school part time. and once i thought that it brought overwhelming peace.
i guess i need to mention a little about the school for this to make more sense.
seminary or university here and im realizing this to be true of the British educational system is much different from the US where we take maybe an average of 4 classes a term. here they take that in a day multiplied by however many days and you have the course load for the semester and for the seminary its 12. and you take my new job with that working weekends and you have quite a handful, not to mention church on sundays.
SO, taking 3-4 classes part time and with the possibility of going full time in the future started to sound very appealing.
and its all quite interesting as the very fact that i wanted to enroll full time pushed me to find a church and that i did and now that i did im now thinking of going back to part time status which does not necessarily require me to be in a church.

so the rearrangement of my life continues.
church: kbf
seminary: part time